Something's been bothering me for a long time.  I haven't lost any sleep over it, but it has been in the back of my mind for a couple of years, ever since I started my first "read through the Bible" project.  I've always been enthralled by the story of Balaam.  You know, he's the guy whose donkey had to set him straight.

Balaam was hired by the Moabites and the Midianites three times to curse the Israelites.  I think he really wanted to do it, too, but that's just my editorial opinion.  However, he was smart enough to know that he couldn't do it, so he told his employer that he would try to go along with the plan, but when the time came, he would say what he had to say.  It turns out that every time he ended up blessing the Israelites rather than cursing them, which made his employer rather angry.  The last we actually see of Balaam is in Numbers 24, just after he has issued his fourth statement, this time a curse against his employer and his allies.  He then takes his ball and goes home.

But that is not the end of the story.  In the very next chapter, the Israelites are drawn into some pretty bad things, including idol worship and sexual improprieties.  A number of things happen, and the story almost ends in Numbers 31:8 when Balaam is killed along with the rest of the Midianites.  But why?  He didn't do what he was hired for - in fact he put his life in jeopardy but turning the tables on his employer!  That's the question that bothered me all these years.  We have no trail of evidence telling us what he did to deserve the bad rap and his ultimate death at the hands of the Israelites.

I guess I must have missed the next section in Numbers 31:16 and also the one in Revelation 2:14, because my question is answered in these passages.  While the narrative doesn't include his actions, I think we can trust Moses' and John's take on things when they say Balaam was responsible for leading the Israelites into the sexual sin and idol worship.  Bummer.  He was on a roll!  I guess he really wanted Balak's money.  Too bad he didn't learn the donkey's lesson.  Four times he did the right thing because he feared God.  Unfortunately, his heart wasn't in it, and the fifth time was the charm.  It wasn't any overt action that did him in - it was the behind the scenes discussions that we don't even read about.

The moral of the story?  In my mind at least, it boils down to the motives for his actions.  Four times, Balaam did the right things, but not because he wanted to.  He did God's bidding, but grudgingly.  When given the opportunity, he undermined the good he had done and caused his ultimate death with just a few words of advice in the back room.

So now, even though I still like the story of Balaam, with the donkey and all, I look at him in a different light.  He obeyed God because he felt he had to, not because he wanted to.  He threw it all away the first chance he got.  What a way to live a life!